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Things To Find In Santa’s Beard

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By Paul Cookson, performance poet and Literacy Time PLUS Poet-in-residence

Write some more lines for the poem inside our virtual Christmas card and you could win an extra present for your Christmas stocking!

Things To Find in Santa’s Beard

A thousand crumbs from left mince pies

A thousand crushed and flattened flies

Soot from a thousand chimney pots

Dribbled sherry from a thousand stops

Holly berries, jokes from crackers

Sellotape, tinsel, present wrappers

Icicles and frosted beer

Spare carrots for his reindeer

All these and more, strange and weird

What else can you find in Santa’s beard …....?

Smudged lipstick from a smitten nan

Mistletoe snagged as he ran

Bits of string and sticky bows

Snowflakes fallen from a cold nose

Broken drainpipes from a crash land

Enthusiastic helpers lending a hand

Some little branches from a robin’s nest,

A little elf and a little vest

Cold white snow and

A lovely bow

A pretty smell of holly,

A doll called Polly

A leaf from a Christmas tree,

And a buzzy bumble bee

Lots of lollipops, oh so sweet

And some yummy meat

A boys shoe made of leather,

And a fluffy robin’s feather

Green slime, oh how weird,

Now I’m in his beard

A long grey hair from a long grey cat

A long piece of a long hat

A present lost for many years

Still stuck in Santa´s big fat beard

A spare candle to light up a house,

And a little present to give to a mouse

A toy tank from a toy army,

And a puzzle cube to send you barmy

There´s a piece of cake

And bread that´s not been baked

Smoke from the chimney,

Even an MP3

Santa´s beard has a little sphere

So shiny, I hear

Santa´s beard is dirty and weird,

And a little muddy, I feared

Scooby Doo

And a Christmas clue!

A Happy Christmas to you all!

Here on the Literacy Time PLUS website we have sent you a virtual Christmas Card designed by David Parkins and containing a poem all about Things To Find In Santa’s Beard, by Paul Cookson.

Just imagine what it must be like for Santa on Christmas Eve, flying around the world all night delivering presents, stopping at millions of houses and travelling really fast. What sort of things might get caught in his beard? Things from houses, things in the sky, things found on roofs, things to do with the weather …

Why not write an additional pair of lines for the poem?

Win a Christmas poetry collection

Email us two more lines of poetry for Things to Find In Santa’s Beard and, if your lines are added to the poem here on the website during December, we will send you a copy of Funny Poems For Christmas compiled by Paul Cookson (Scholastic, ISBN 04399344104). Don’t forget to give us your full name, address and your age (if under 18).

Good luck and a Merry Christmas!

christmas-poetry-card_int.gif

Thank you to…

Andrea Booth

Lisa Wilson

Georgia Yeomans, age 8

Bennett Meyer, age 6, Los Angeles, California

Alec Barcenilla, Aaron O Malley, Laura GonÇalves, Joe Slaymaker, Miguel Valera, Alex Barrenechea and Nicole Chantal Kuiper from Class 6M, and Christian Manners in Year 5, at the British School of Alicante

and to

Rebeca Kivijarvi Busto, Rocio Maria Pinera Sanchez, Andrea Garrido Moreno-Palancas, Maria Entero Ruiz, Blanca Lanzarot Facio, Erik Fernandez Martinez and Miguel Galan Lopex-Celada – all age 8 and all children in Class 4L at the British School of Alicante

...for sending us some additional lines to extend Paul Cookson’s poem. A copy of Funny Poems for Christmas is on its way to you all!

Reviews

  1. Mackenzie
    on 21 February 2015

    Funny =^-^=

    I love it! Very funny, interesting and fun to read. :)